Learning.

These days, I'm learning to be alone.

Being alone can be frightening,

because it forces us to deal with our hurts.

There's no one else there to cover them up

or distract.

And yet, I'm learning that I'm never alone.

There's an ever-present God who loves me unfailingly.

And he does better than distract from my hurts.

He heals them

for good.

Grey.

I dislike rainy days.

They're grey.

And lifeless.

But then I remember.

Rainy days=a more colorful Spring.

I'm so thankful for a God

who makes beautiful things out of the dust.

who makes beautiful things out of us.

Out of the tears.

Out of the pain.

Out of the temptation

and trials

and weakness.

Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before— more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.
— Charles Dickens

I'm listening to this song on repeat.

Sinking.

Some days you’re like an anchor on my heart.
— CocoRosie

Closer.

I've been regretting the past and fearing the future.

I've been worrying.

I've been impatient.

But he reminds me,

"I was, and I am, and I always will be."

Always.

He makes the broken whole.

He gives hope to hopeless.

He comes near to the lonely.

He is more than enough.

And I want to be closer.

Crowded.

You're just a face in the crowd.

(via colonycolon)

But somehow, you still stand out.

Tough.

I wanted to forget.

But he wouldn't let me.

Love isn't just about others,

the others who love us back,

the others who are easy to love.

When God asks us to love others,

he means our enemies.

Love just got a lot harder.

Love asks nothing in return, but seeks those who need it.

And who needs our love more than those who are consumed with hatred and utterly devoid of love? Who in other words needs our love more than our enemy? Where is love more glorified than where she dwells in the midst of her enemies?

Am I asked how this love is supposed to behave?

Jesus gives the answer:

bless,

do good,

and pray for your enemies without reserve.

-Bonhoffer

Sing.

"Who knows when these raging waves will give way to a sea of glass with seagulls sitting on the gentle swells?"

I feel like God's been sending trial after trial my way lately.

And I've fallen into stress, and worry, and striving.

Today He reminded me,

"The sweetest perfumes are obtained only through tremendous pressure,

the fairest flowers grow on the most isolated and snowy peaks,

the most beautiful gems are those that have suffered the longest at the jeweler's wheel,

and the most magnificent statues have endured the most blows from the chisel."

Even though things aren't as easy for me,

Doesn't mean I am loved any less.

It just means I'm being refined

from my sinful nature

into purity and beauty