Horizon

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I was reading through my journals from Ireland this morning,

and the pain and confusion I felt there is splayed across every page.

It was a daily struggle for me,

that journey.

And yet, I can see verses,

verses that kept me from drowning.

quotes that gave me hope.

"The thing is to rely on God. The time will come when you will regard all this misery as a small price to pay for having been brought to that dependence. Meanwhile the trouble is that relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing has been done." --C.S. Lewis

And as I'm about embark on another journey tomorrow:

Panama,

Internship,

New everything.

I have this feeling of fear,

fear that it will be as devastating as Ireland was.

But even if it is,

God has a purpose.

And His are so much better than mine.

So I'll rely on him anew today.

And he is whispering,

"I want to show you horizons you have never seen before"

Cover.

Panama Hat.

I wonder if I'll actually see these

when I'm in Panama,

(in FIVE days!)

A Day.

Some glorious morn--but when? Ah,who will say?

The steepest mountain will become a plain.

And the parched land will be satisfied with rain.

The gates of brass all broken; iron bars,

Transfigured, form a ladder to the stars

Rough places, plain, and crooked ways all straight.

For him who with patient heart can wait.

These things will be on God's appointed day.

It may not be tomorrow--yet it may.

Take heart, When God requires you to wait.

Focus.

on right now.

Reminisce

Because there aren't words...

Cherish what is dearest while you have it near you, and wait not till it is far away. Blind and deaf that we are; oh, think, if thou yet love anybody living, wait not till death sweep down the paltry little dust clouds and dissonances of the moment, and all be made at last so mournfully clear and beautiful, when it is too late. -Thomas Carlyle

Heard.

What I wanted to blog about tonight,

is something I have been struggling with,

something that I can't quite make sense of,

something that I've never been good at,

something I've probably been doing wrong my whole life.

Prayer.

The thing is, I asked God to teach me how to pray.

And the next thing I know

I notice around 20 hurting people

with requests and pleas for healing

and miracles,

and comfort,

and help.

And I tell them I will pray.

so I sit down

or kneel down

or pick up a pen

and close my eyes

but I don't know what to say.

I want to pray boldly,

I want to pray unceasingly,

but I'm afraid I'm bad at it.

The amazing thing is, though,

I know He hears me anyways.

Reflection.

"What songs would be on a mix tape that describes you?"

"This is true of anyone:

the music we choose is a clear reflection of who we really are"

Have you ever borrowed someone's iPOD and scrolled through their favorites?

(I did this once to a guy I liked back in High School.

He had "Brown Eyed Girl" by Van Morrison among his favorites,

and it made me like him even more).

Or, have you ever looked through someone's shared music on Itunes?

Or gotten in the passengers seat of someone's car

and been blasted with the last song they were listening to?

It's true, you can learn a lot about someone from the music they listen to.

I cringe whenever someone asks me,

"What kind of music do you like?"

I always respond with, "Anything but rap"

I'm not a huge music person.

So, I decided to make a proverbial mix tape.

We'll see what it tells you about me...

In no particular order:

1) I'll Be Seeing You--Billie Holiday

2) The Only Exception--Paramore

3) Firework--The Glee Version

4) Moonlight Sonata--Beethoven

5) A Drop in the Ocean--Ron Pope

6) The Luckiest--Ben Folds

7) Someday You Will Be Loved--Death Cab for Cutie

8) Winter Winds--Mumford&Sons

9) So Good To Me--Cory Ashbury