Embrace & Release.

Surrender: the ability to open your heart,

and with sweat and tears,

let go.

"With hands freshly loosed hands

we find liberty to

embrace the One who will

never change

and the courage to release those

who ever will."

-Beth Moore

LateBloomer.

We just finished a 3-week series called:"Man Up" at the church I'm attending this summer

Go (here) to listen to the sermons.

There was something deeply touching about listening

to my pastor stand up and passionately charge the men to

be alert, firm, courageous, mighty,

and to love.

When he talked about a godly man

who had strength of character

who fought for his marriage and family,

who turned into the battles of life instead of away,

I felt like I was seeing a clear picture of

the type of man I want in my life,

someday.

It was also hard though, because at first

I wondered how I was supposed to apply these words to myself,

as a woman of God.

And today God showed me what he wants from me,

now:

He wants men of courage and valor,

but He was me to be a woman of strength as well.

Even though I can be incredibly emotional,

and I tend to want to control situations,

he wants me to have strength in patience right now.

He's asking me to have emotional patience.

To take heart

to be strong,

and to wait on Him.

(Psalm 27: 13-14)

And it's so much harder than it sounds.

Patience to wait does not come from suffering long for what we lack but from sitting long in what we have.

-Beth Moore

Finally:Panama

The first week

of June,

of my internship, &

of knowing ten new interns,

was spent in Panama.

Here are some of the happenings

in pictured and journaled form:

This was the boat we road on for 7 hours from Panama City to the village of Union Santania.

I look distressed in the picture, but it was actually a really relaxing ride.

At one point I woke up and looked out over the wide open ocean,

and just thanked God for the beautiful mountains in the distance,

I remember feeling full and at peace.

And He gave me these verses:

Psalm 57:9-10

I will praise you, O Lord among the nations

I will sing of you among the peoples.

For great is your love, reaching to the heavens

your faithfulness reaches to the sky

From my journal:

One of the saddest things I've heard so far is something that Vince told me. He quizzed the children here on bible stories and found that they do not have a basic knowledge of the Bible, not even who Moses is. So, I feel a challenge in my heart to help that. Every day this week we are going to read Bible stories to the children.

This was my favorite part of my time in Panama. And it made showering by flashlight, waking up to roosters at 2 and 4 and 6 AM, the constant sweating, and sleeping on a mat on the ground seem like nothing compared to the joy that came with teaching these kids about God and His story.

From my journal:

God, those kids ate up the Bible stories, they wanted more. And it's so amazing how all of your stories tell of a God who is faithful and loving and everlasting. I pray that some of the children understood this.

Teaching those kids was one of the most amazing experiences I've had. So much else went on in Panama, we worked really hard and gave away a lot of Bibles, but the kids and the VBS that we organized each day was what I really went away with. I don't know exactly what God is doing this summer; he keeps stirring a love for children in me. But I do know that He is teaching me about calling, and about trusting Him.

"God's will and what you

dream about in your deepest dreams

line up so well that you can usually

chase your dreams

and you will more often than not

find God's will."

Currently

In case you are confused by my random quotes and Bible verses,

Let me get you caught up on

who I am and

where I am

Currently...

{Because context is everything}

I am...

...living in my hometown,

but not at my home.

...recovering from a sickness I retrieved in Panama.

...spending every morning with the same 10 people,

learning how to live a disciplined and discipled life.

...reading "Radical" by David Platt,

and actually wrestling with the words

instead of just accepting them.

...realizing that in God's strength I can do anything,

even teach 3rd and 4th grade girls Sunday School.

...becoming talented in the art of Ultimate 4-Square.

....(also) reading "Spiritual Parenting" by Michelle Anthony

because I believe in family.

...seeing & experiencing what Godly men look like.

...discovering that I can only limit myself,

because God's plans are always better than mine.

...writing a book about love,

because we are all called to actually love,

not just pretend to love (Romans 12:9).

Better.

Psalm 84:10

A single day is better in your court

than a thousand elsewhere.

For the Lord is our sun

and our shield.

The second part of this is easy for me to know in my heart.

I'm still praying that the first part would

become more than just intellectual truth.

Defined.

Patience:The undying belief in a happy ending

Surrender:The understanding that it may not end like you want it to.

"Never think that God's delays are God's denials.

Hold on; Hold fast; Hold out. Patience is genius"

-George Buffon

All

You are my refuge

My portion

All I need in the land of the living.

Psalm 142

That this would be true in my life today.

Faces.

There are some faces that can change your life forever.

Last week I spent 5 humid days in a remote village in Panama.

The work was hard but the people made it worth it.

It was an experience worth many long blog posts,

but I still haven't found the right words.

So instead, let me post a thankful praise to my rescuer,

"Be at rest one more,

O my soul,

For the Lord has been good to you.

For you, O Lord, have delivered

my soul from death,

my eyes from tears,

my feet from stumbling

That I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living."