So Much Love.

There are a lot of exciting happenings around here.

So many people to rejoice with.

So much love.

It's wonderful.

(More to come after tomorrow's PARTY).

God is love.

Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

Be.You.(tiful).

I'm home for the weekend.

Mmm. It's so good to watch cable.

Project Runway, I missed you.

Anyways,

"For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ..having gifts that differ according to the grace given us." Romans 12:3-8

What's your gift?

The one that's yours.

Given by grace.

One of my goals is to be truly myself.

But it's impossible when I wish I were someone else.

God is love.

Love does not envy.

Steadfast Love.

"And I will betroth you to me forever.

I will betroth you to me in righteousness

and in justice,

in steadfast love

and in mercy.

I will betroth you me in faithfulness.

And you shall know the Lord."

Hosea 2:19-20

His love is steadfast.

Fixed.

Unwavering.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,

his mercies never come to an tend;

they are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul,

'therefore I will hope in him'"

Lamentations 3:22

God is love.

Love hopes all things.

(Even when some things are lost).

Happy February.

It's my favorite month!

I love the colors,

and the candy,

and the cheesy boxed valentines.

But the best part is that there is a holiday that celebrates love,

a fruit of the Spirit.

Last year I practiced "14 Days of Loving Others,"

(The Jesus way)

and it made such a difference in healing parts of my heart.

This year, though, I think I'm supposed to spend 14 days focusing on

The way God loves us.

"By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us,

and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.

But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need,

yet closes his heart against him,

how does God's love abide in him?

Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth."

1 John 3:16-18

He taught us what love is by dying for us.

The least I can do is keep our hearts open

and love those in need.

Praying that God's love would abide in me.

He is love.

Love is patient.

The Story: 6 Months in.

It's finally (about) time to let everyone in on something that's happening in my life.

Six months ago today...

I went to a small camp in Missouri with my fellow OBC interns.

We arrived, got out of the bus, unpacked, and went directly to our cave tour.

Windermere Cave, in Roach, Missouri next to Lake of the Ozarks.

That's where I met Stuart,

...well "Stu" as he introduced himself.

My first impression of Stuart was, "He is really loud"

(He still really enjoys being loud).

We spent an hour in the cave.

"Stu" led us in a devotion about light&darkness.

I was the answer to his prayer.

I brought up the topic of darkness.

The next day I floated the Niangua.

And there he was again,

standing on a trailer

above the rest of us

a life vest around

his chest,

shouting out instructions.

He remembered Brittany's name, but forgot mine.

But he commented on my Chacos.

Told me I must know what I was doing.

My second impression of Stuart was,

"He doesn't know who I am."

Two days later, at a music video shooting,

he showed up again as the videographer.

He offered a ride in his truck.

He was playing classical music.

We talked about rock climbing,

our life stories.

My third impression of Stuart was,

"Why is this so easy?"

And that's how it has stayed.

Easy.

We probably don't seem like two people who go together.

I love reading,

he loves movies.

I quote Anne Lammot,

he quotes "Step Brothers"

I see the glass half-empty,

he sees the glass overflowing.

He is a ropes course technician

a river guide,

a videographer,

an artist,

a dreamer,

and has his own up & coming clothing line.

But everyday he reminds me

to find my hope in the Lord,

to look for things to be thankful for,

to breathe in the outdoors,

to look inside.

He's so good for me,

And I'm thankful.

Happy 6 Months, Stuart Brand.

The Beauty.

I just finished reading this memoir:

(I mean, Oprah and Target recommended it.)

And it was probably the most beautiful book I've ever experienced.

It's about a Harvard graduate who learns the child she's pregnant with has Down's Syndrome.

And the way he changes her life for the better.

Anyways...

There's this part where she asks quits seeing people by the labels they wear,

and she starts seeing the person behind each mask.

And she realizes that there is this incredible beauty in every person.

She could only do it for a minute, because the beauty inside others was

so beautiful it hurt.

I tried this in chapel the other day.

Everyone was worshipping,

and I quit judging for a second,

I quit critically listening to the worship band,

and I asked God to show me the beauty in the room.

And all of the sudden everyone was...shining.

For a split second I felt a fracture of God's pleasure at our worship.

I felt tears starting to come, so I quickly turned it off.

I hope that's what heaven will be like.

Listing.

This week I will...

...meet with those 4 girls I keep meaning to get coffee with.

...learn something new about grace & share it with someone.

...attend & read at a poetry reading downtown. (1 brave thing).

...give (time, effort, love) to 5 people.

...incessantly call my brother until he picks up.

...spend real time with the boy.

...pray for the first 30 minutes of each day.

...write those 3 letters to those 3 people.

...post something to pinterest.

...run a relay half marathon with my runner buddies in tulsa.

Dazzling

I keep asking the Lord to show me how He sees me.

And the newest word is dazzling.

I went to a worship service last night,

and the picture that spoke to my heart was

"When we arrive at eternity's shore,

when death is just a memory

and tears are no more,

We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring,

Your bride will come together and we'll sing,

You're beautiful."

He's dazzling,

and I'm a reflection of His brilliance.

4 months ago

from a journal on 6.22.11::

"God, I feel unloved, unworthy, and insecure. I am overwhelmed with my own frailties.

Please, help me realize my worth is in you.

Help me to see myself as one dearly loved, precious, and honored in your sight.

I will take heart. I will ask for courage. Because you are the one my strength comes from."

It's good to look back. It's good to be here.

At the moment.

I am...

...grappling with the idea of grace (still).

...taking steps towards balance.

...loving having a kitchen to play in.

...a little done with baking pumpkin things and ready for peppermint Christmas things. (Guess that's what I get for starting on pumpkin in September).

...desperate for my ankle to heal so I can start running again.

...struggling with guilt from the pressure I put on myself. It's like I have some type of mental standard that I can never quite reach. I feel it after every conversation spoken, every accomplishment finished, every devotion and quiet time done. I worry that I'm letting people down, that I don't do enough, that I do too much. It's called perfectionism and it's a daily struggle.

...trying to see myself the way He sees me. (Maybe this will help the above ridiculousness).

...looking at grad schools and jobs in KC and dreaming about what God has in store.

...thankful for dependable and reciprocating friends.

...still slightly giddy over a new relationship with a boy who challenges me to find joy in each day.

...praying this: "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope"...for me, for you.

(Romans 15:13).

Sweet Dreams

I like Pinterest,

because it puts pictures to my dreams.

Newest dream...

have a cupcake cafe.

Because you can't be

stressed & bake at the same time.

Dwell

"I want you to stop planning,

stop wishing,

and allow me to give you

the most thrilling plan existing--

one you can't imagine.

I want you to have the best.

Please allow me to bring it to you."

Psalm 37:23,24

"The steps of a man are established by the Lord,

when he delights in His way."

I'm dwelling in the land, Lord,

I'm committing my way to you.

Come near.

Blessing, Outrageous

I've been praying for more joy,

the kind that comes from obedience.

I've been finding beauty everywhere I look,

the kind that must have been touched by Him.

I've been writing a little,

and exploring a lot.

Life is full of blessings,

the outrageous kind.

It's a journey,

this living.

Favorite Fourth

I was recently asked what my favorite 4th of July memory was...

It might have been the time my mom, best friend, and I

took a road trip to Oklahoma to "spy" on a National American Miss Pageant

and then watched fireworks out the van skylight that night.

Or maybe it was the year I spent the 4th of July in Chicago,

marching in the International Lions Band with my marching french horn,

and then watching fireworks on the riverfront that night.

This year I'm spending the 4th in St. Louis with one of my best friends,

and since rain ruined our plans for watching fireworks under the arch,

our plan B was sitting, talking, and sharing music on a mattress in her room.

And it has been one of my favorite fourths.

I'm realizing that time is precious,

I'm about to enter my last year of college,

Many of my friends are getting engaged,

and everything is about to change...

So I'm not wishing it away.

What's your favorite fourth?

LateBloomer.

We just finished a 3-week series called:"Man Up" at the church I'm attending this summer

Go (here) to listen to the sermons.

There was something deeply touching about listening

to my pastor stand up and passionately charge the men to

be alert, firm, courageous, mighty,

and to love.

When he talked about a godly man

who had strength of character

who fought for his marriage and family,

who turned into the battles of life instead of away,

I felt like I was seeing a clear picture of

the type of man I want in my life,

someday.

It was also hard though, because at first

I wondered how I was supposed to apply these words to myself,

as a woman of God.

And today God showed me what he wants from me,

now:

He wants men of courage and valor,

but He was me to be a woman of strength as well.

Even though I can be incredibly emotional,

and I tend to want to control situations,

he wants me to have strength in patience right now.

He's asking me to have emotional patience.

To take heart

to be strong,

and to wait on Him.

(Psalm 27: 13-14)

And it's so much harder than it sounds.

Patience to wait does not come from suffering long for what we lack but from sitting long in what we have.

-Beth Moore

Defined.

Patience:The undying belief in a happy ending

Surrender:The understanding that it may not end like you want it to.

"Never think that God's delays are God's denials.

Hold on; Hold fast; Hold out. Patience is genius"

-George Buffon

Focus.

on right now.

Summer.

oh.my.goodness.

it is summer!

That means I can get back into race shape,

and start marking books off my reading list,

and wash my car in the driveway,

and play tennis with my dad!

It's the little things...

In My Dreams.

What is it inside of us that is captivated by the idea of being a princess?

Or at least by the idea of being a princess to someone.

"And above all, watch with glimmering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places.

Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."

Bright Spot: Home

First of all,

Homeward Bound is the worst movie.

Ever.

Second,

It's raining and grey

and I got soaked walking across the quad.

But it's okay!

I'm going HOME.

Right now.

Oh, and I'm in love.

Haha. Gotcha.

But I am in love with this song.

Thank you, Ben Rector...

Listen.

"The hardest part was finding you

But once I did...

I knew."

Truth.