Perfect love.

Loving someone else is a choice.

I've been finding a lot of fear in my love this year.

Sometimes I find myself loving out of fear of rejection.

Sometimes I find myself not loving because of fear.

My love is not perfect,

My love is very flawed.

My love is not good enough

to save or heal.

No matter how hard I love,

my love will be rejected.

my love won't be returned.

my love will be ignored.

That's why I'm asking for God to keep completing my love

During this process called life.

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.

For fear has to do with punishment,

and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

We love because he first loved us."

1 John 4:19

God is love.

Love bears all things.

So Much Love.

There are a lot of exciting happenings around here.

So many people to rejoice with.

So much love.

It's wonderful.

(More to come after tomorrow's PARTY).

God is love.

Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

Finding Joy.

It has been a really rough week so far.

Between a head cold,

hours of interviews,

and the most homework I've had this semester...

I'm wiped out.

There have already been tears.

(You know it's bad when people start asking if you're doing okay,

& tell you that you look tired.)

But this morning I woke up determined not to feel sorry for myself.

I put on some music,

& a dress,

curled my hair,

and decided it would be a good day.

I took strength in 2 Corinthians 6.

Especially these verses:

"but as the servants of God...through hour and dishonor, through slander and praise. We are treated as impostors, and yet are true, as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold, we live; as punished, and yet not killed, as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing, as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, yet possessing everything." (8-10)

I am finding joy in being a servant of God.

God is love.

Love is not irritable

(even when without sleep).

Brotherly Love.

We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, 'I love God,' and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.

Whoever loves God must also love his brother.

1 John 4:19+

I had a wonderful weekend at home.

I took the boyfriend out on a date.

Even opened his door a couple times,

And enjoyed watching a few hours of home videos.

I really loved watching my little brother and I interact at that age.

"Look, dad, I got this for my sister."

When everyone else was going crazy for piñata candy.

"Thanks Dani, I've been wanting this so very bad"

When I gave him a hot wheels set for his 5th birthday.

I'm blessed to have a brother who thinks of me before himself.

God is love.

Love is not rude.

Be.You.(tiful).

I'm home for the weekend.

Mmm. It's so good to watch cable.

Project Runway, I missed you.

Anyways,

"For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ..having gifts that differ according to the grace given us." Romans 12:3-8

What's your gift?

The one that's yours.

Given by grace.

One of my goals is to be truly myself.

But it's impossible when I wish I were someone else.

God is love.

Love does not envy.

Happy February.

It's my favorite month!

I love the colors,

and the candy,

and the cheesy boxed valentines.

But the best part is that there is a holiday that celebrates love,

a fruit of the Spirit.

Last year I practiced "14 Days of Loving Others,"

(The Jesus way)

and it made such a difference in healing parts of my heart.

This year, though, I think I'm supposed to spend 14 days focusing on

The way God loves us.

"By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us,

and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.

But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need,

yet closes his heart against him,

how does God's love abide in him?

Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth."

1 John 3:16-18

He taught us what love is by dying for us.

The least I can do is keep our hearts open

and love those in need.

Praying that God's love would abide in me.

He is love.

Love is patient.

Fear less.

"No matter what's gone wrong, it can be a precious gift.

No matter how often you've been hurt, you can trust your heart's desires."-Martha Beck

This year, I will love with less fear.

Hurt for the Healing.

Sometimes I get really

bogged down & captured

under the weight of everything that has

gone wrong.

Our world, our relationships, our cities...they aren't supposed to be like this.

I sit in class and learn about the terrible conditions

children around the world are forced to deal with daily.

Child Soldiers

Parental abuse

Sex Trafficking.

"The younger, the better."

I sit in my room and research foster care and family crisis.

Big words that just mean broken lives.

I memorize statistics and know how many children live in a shelter.

Big numbers that equal a lot of need.

And it's so easy to be emotional--sad or angry.

But it's not enough.

It's when I get a text from my boyfriend that says,

"God is doing big things here.

We just helped feed 90 kids when a snow day happens"

that I remember all the ministries and missions

who are hoping to heal hurt.

And it just so happens that someone I care about is there,

Working paid and unpaid hours in order to do something.

Thank you.

Knowing makes it easier that you're not here.

I still know that this is not how its supposed to be,

but I also need to remember that there's hope now,

and there's hope in the future.

When there will be no more tears.

Valuable.

Control.

I've been controlled, and I like being in control.

But when we hold on so tightly to someone

that we can't let them go...

to be who they are,

to pursue what they love,

to do what they feel called to,

we steal their freedom

and we forget about grace.

Acceptance.

I want to accept others just as they are.

Letting go.

I want to release others to God.

I want to be supportive of other's decisions.

I want to extend real grace to others.

"Acceptance means you are valuable just as you are. It allows you to be the real you. You aren't forced into someone else's idea of who you really are. It means your ideas are taken seriously since they reflect you. You can talk about how you feel inside and why you feel that way--and someone really cares. You feel safe."--William Barclay.

Safety.

Freedom.

Love.

Seeking to please only God.

Leaving behind the people pleaser.

Accepting others.

Learning is a journey.

4 months ago

from a journal on 6.22.11::

"God, I feel unloved, unworthy, and insecure. I am overwhelmed with my own frailties.

Please, help me realize my worth is in you.

Help me to see myself as one dearly loved, precious, and honored in your sight.

I will take heart. I will ask for courage. Because you are the one my strength comes from."

It's good to look back. It's good to be here.

Disenchanted.

There's this broken part of me,

that always wants to love something created

instead of the creator.

There's this tension in me,

to chase things created by God

instead of God.

I see it in my dreams,

in my hopes,

in my hurts,

in my anxiousness,

in my pursuits.

"Everyone must live for something. Something must capture our imaginations, our heart's most fundamental allegiance and hope. But, the Bible tells us, without the intervention of the Holy Spirit, that object will never be God himself."--Tim Keller, Counterfeit Gods

False loves.

You disappoint

You are so empty;

God.

The riches of your love will always be enough.

The hope you give will never disappoint.

I'm running to your arms.

Singing this song,

praying it will become true

in me.

My heart will sing

no other name.

Jesus.

Pursuit.

Love.

I think it's the most complicated command of all.

I think it's sometimes the hardest action to give.

Love anyways.

Even when the giving seems endless,

and the taking begins to empty you.

Pursue love.

The 1 Corinthians 13 kind of love

that doesn't insist on it's own way.

that is not irritable

or resentful.

The kind that bears all things,

endures all things.

Because someday,

you might just find somebody who loves

as strongly and sacrificially as you love.

Together you'll make the world better.

Let love purify you.

Let love make you stronger.

Dwell

"I want you to stop planning,

stop wishing,

and allow me to give you

the most thrilling plan existing--

one you can't imagine.

I want you to have the best.

Please allow me to bring it to you."

Psalm 37:23,24

"The steps of a man are established by the Lord,

when he delights in His way."

I'm dwelling in the land, Lord,

I'm committing my way to you.

Come near.

Blessing, Outrageous

I've been praying for more joy,

the kind that comes from obedience.

I've been finding beauty everywhere I look,

the kind that must have been touched by Him.

I've been writing a little,

and exploring a lot.

Life is full of blessings,

the outrageous kind.

It's a journey,

this living.

Share.

"If you aspire to be a person of consolation,

If you want to share the priestly gift of sympathy,

If you desire to go beyond giving commonplace comfort

to a heart that is tempted,

And if you long to go through the daily exchange of life

with the kind of tact that never inflicts pain,

Then you must be prepared to pay the price for a costly education--

For like Christ, you must suffer."

-Fredrick William Robinson

Everyday I become a little more sure

that I will do whatever it takes

to live a life for others.

Trying Hard.

Let love be genuine.

Abhor what is evil;

hold fast to what is good.

Love one another with brotherly affection.

Outdo one another in showing honor.

Do not be slothful in zeal,

be fervent in spirit,

serve the Lord.

Rejoice in hope,

be patient in tribulation,

be constant in prayer.

Contribute to the needs of the saints

and seek to show hospitality.

Romans 12:9-12

This verse means a lot to me right now.

I feel like I need to be changed.

I see so much wrong with my heart, soul, and mind.

Each day is a fight to focus;

to continue to hope,

to continue to love,

to find contentment.

And I try to put up this strong front,

I don't allow myself to be hurt.

But that is just so exhausting.

It is so much better to surrender.

I just can't quite figure out how to get to that place,

and stay there.

Be Real.

I like it when people are

real

and honest

and themselves.

Quit trying so hard.

Pictured Perfectly.

I used to picture my perfect job:

working at home,

sitting at a finely decorated desk,

with a large screen computer,

staring out my window at a picturesque setting,

writing.

Comfortable,

safe,

using my talents.

But God has been challenging that lately.

With so many needs,

injustice,

persecution.

So many helpless,

so many lost.

Maybe He's calling me to the streets

instead of a life of shelter;

to a life of active advance,

instead of to a life of quiet retreat;

to a life of community,

instead of solitude.

to a life that makes so very little of me & my talents

in order to make much of Him & His glory.

Matthew 28:19 haunts me.

"Go and make disciples of all the nations,

baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you."

LateBloomer.

We just finished a 3-week series called:"Man Up" at the church I'm attending this summer

Go (here) to listen to the sermons.

There was something deeply touching about listening

to my pastor stand up and passionately charge the men to

be alert, firm, courageous, mighty,

and to love.

When he talked about a godly man

who had strength of character

who fought for his marriage and family,

who turned into the battles of life instead of away,

I felt like I was seeing a clear picture of

the type of man I want in my life,

someday.

It was also hard though, because at first

I wondered how I was supposed to apply these words to myself,

as a woman of God.

And today God showed me what he wants from me,

now:

He wants men of courage and valor,

but He was me to be a woman of strength as well.

Even though I can be incredibly emotional,

and I tend to want to control situations,

he wants me to have strength in patience right now.

He's asking me to have emotional patience.

To take heart

to be strong,

and to wait on Him.

(Psalm 27: 13-14)

And it's so much harder than it sounds.

Patience to wait does not come from suffering long for what we lack but from sitting long in what we have.

-Beth Moore

Currently

In case you are confused by my random quotes and Bible verses,

Let me get you caught up on

who I am and

where I am

Currently...

{Because context is everything}

I am...

...living in my hometown,

but not at my home.

...recovering from a sickness I retrieved in Panama.

...spending every morning with the same 10 people,

learning how to live a disciplined and discipled life.

...reading "Radical" by David Platt,

and actually wrestling with the words

instead of just accepting them.

...realizing that in God's strength I can do anything,

even teach 3rd and 4th grade girls Sunday School.

...becoming talented in the art of Ultimate 4-Square.

....(also) reading "Spiritual Parenting" by Michelle Anthony

because I believe in family.

...seeing & experiencing what Godly men look like.

...discovering that I can only limit myself,

because God's plans are always better than mine.

...writing a book about love,

because we are all called to actually love,

not just pretend to love (Romans 12:9).