Like Love and Writing and So Much Else...

"Think of a fine painter attempting to capture an inner vision, beginning with one corner of the canvas, painting what he thinks should be there, not quite pulling it off, covering it over with white paint, and trying again, each time finding out what his painting isn't, until finally he finds out what it is."--Anne Lamott

It's okay to start over. Just don't give up.

Sundays.

Sundays are for::

driving down country roads with the windows down.

homework and coffee.

sweatpants.

phone calls.

peace.

Surprise

There are so many different types of crying,

Like there are so many different types of love.

But the worst kind of crying is the kind that surprises.

The kind that comes from a broken place in your heart that you had forgotten.

The worst kind of love is the kind that takes instead of gives.

But tears bring clarity,

And brokenness brings healing.

ps-I'm so glad I found you.

Today.

Sometimes I get ahead of myself.

I look at my calendar and get sad or overwhelmed.

But I have to remember to be present.

Live in the present and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.

Too Amazing For Me.

I honestly don't think there's a more romantic story in all of history than when Adam first meets Eve.

"After we have surveyed, as far as possible, all the other creatures in the world, eventually God presents us with one who is special, one who strikes a deeper chord in us than anyone else was able to do. Although the person may be very unlike us in many important ways, still there is something inside us that recognizes the other as being bone of our bone and flesh of our flesh, akin to us on a level far deeper than personality."--Mike Mason

There are three things that are too amazing for me,

four that I do not understand:

the way of an eagle in the sky,

the way of a snake on a rock,

the way of a ship on the high seas,

and the way of a man with a maiden."

Provers 30:18-19

Work Shop.

I'm in a "Creative Nonfiction Workshop" this semester. Notice the word "workshop?" I'll give you a hint, we're not talking build a bear here (which, by the way, I've always secretly wanted to do)...Yeah, well I didn't realize what a workshop was until the first day of class. And now I'm scared to death. Basically, I have to write creative nonfiction (meaning it's true) and send it to all my classmates so they can read about my (true) life and tear it apart on the faces of all their computers. Then they bring it to class and tell me exactly what they think about my work and my life to my face. I'm terrified.

Not only do I not like letting people read my work, but I usually keep memories to myself and don't share. I'm going to to try to start out with something easy and cliche---like the death of my dog. Or something.

Once again...

Why can't insecurity be easier to heal?

I feel like insecurity is a daily struggle for me,

and that healing will be long in coming.

I tell other girls that they need to read Beth Moore's "So Long, Insecurity."

I tell them that it changed me. That I didn't come away the same.

But, did I?

"Forgive me for turning too many things into competitions.

For being so fixated on what I don't have that I leave the gifts You've given me undeveloped and much less effective than You intended them to be.

Forgive me for thinking pitifully little of the person You've made me.

Forgive me for being such a perfectionist that I resist doing something good out of fear that it won't be great." --Beth Moore.

Everyday.

How easily I forget that I'm Yours.

I am capable of tremendous transformation with You.

Help me to remember it's a process.