Learning.

These days, I'm learning to be alone.

Being alone can be frightening,

because it forces us to deal with our hurts.

There's no one else there to cover them up

or distract.

And yet, I'm learning that I'm never alone.

There's an ever-present God who loves me unfailingly.

And he does better than distract from my hurts.

He heals them

for good.

Grey.

I dislike rainy days.

They're grey.

And lifeless.

But then I remember.

Rainy days=a more colorful Spring.

I'm so thankful for a God

who makes beautiful things out of the dust.

who makes beautiful things out of us.

Out of the tears.

Out of the pain.

Out of the temptation

and trials

and weakness.

Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before— more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.
— Charles Dickens

I'm listening to this song on repeat.

Sinking.

Some days you’re like an anchor on my heart.
— CocoRosie

Closer.

I've been regretting the past and fearing the future.

I've been worrying.

I've been impatient.

But he reminds me,

"I was, and I am, and I always will be."

Always.

He makes the broken whole.

He gives hope to hopeless.

He comes near to the lonely.

He is more than enough.

And I want to be closer.

Crowded.

You're just a face in the crowd.

(via colonycolon)

But somehow, you still stand out.

Tough.

I wanted to forget.

But he wouldn't let me.

Love isn't just about others,

the others who love us back,

the others who are easy to love.

When God asks us to love others,

he means our enemies.

Love just got a lot harder.

Love asks nothing in return, but seeks those who need it.

And who needs our love more than those who are consumed with hatred and utterly devoid of love? Who in other words needs our love more than our enemy? Where is love more glorified than where she dwells in the midst of her enemies?

Am I asked how this love is supposed to behave?

Jesus gives the answer:

bless,

do good,

and pray for your enemies without reserve.

-Bonhoffer

Sing.

"Who knows when these raging waves will give way to a sea of glass with seagulls sitting on the gentle swells?"

I feel like God's been sending trial after trial my way lately.

And I've fallen into stress, and worry, and striving.

Today He reminded me,

"The sweetest perfumes are obtained only through tremendous pressure,

the fairest flowers grow on the most isolated and snowy peaks,

the most beautiful gems are those that have suffered the longest at the jeweler's wheel,

and the most magnificent statues have endured the most blows from the chisel."

Even though things aren't as easy for me,

Doesn't mean I am loved any less.

It just means I'm being refined

from my sinful nature

into purity and beauty

Sugar.

Gosh, I am incredibly blessed.

God had places some beautiful, lovable people in my life.

Friends, thanks for making Valentines Day a big deal with me.

LOVE is the greatest.

Today is the day:: Valentines Day,

my favorite holiday of all.

I had a wise friend once,

who told me that she wants Valentines Day

to be as big as Christmas at her house.

Because Valentines Day isn't about getting flowers

or a shiny piece of jewelry

or having a hand to hold.

It's about loving,

loving others,

and loving well.

It's what we are called to do:

become a person of authentic love.

"If I had such faith that could move mountains, but didn't love others,

I would be nothing"

1 Corinthians 13:2

Today, love endures through every circumstance.

"Three things will last forever--faith, hope, and love--and the greatest of these is love."

1 Corinthians 13:13

Standards.

I am fortunate to have friends who teach me how to love well.

Thomas and Josh treat my friends like the treasures they are.

The downside/upside:

Whoever I date has some incredibly high standards to live up to.

Today, Love never loses faith.

Faithful.

Behind him lay the gray Azores,

Behind the gates of Hercules;

Before him not the ghost of shores,

Before him only shoreless seas.

The good Mate said: "Now we must pray,

For lo! the very starts are gone.

Brave Admiral, speak, what shall I say?"

"Why, say, 'Sail on! sail on! and on!'"

"My men grow mutinous day by day;

My men grow ghastly pale and weak!"

The strong Mate thought of home; a spray

Of salt wave washed his sunburned cheek.

"What shall I say, brave Admiral, say,

If we sight only seas at dawn?"

Why, you shall say at break of day,

'Sail on! sail on! sail on! and on!'"

They sailed. They sailed. Then spoke the Mate:

"This mad sea shows its teeth tonight.

He curls his lip, he lies in wait,

With lifted teeth, as if to bite!

Brave Admiral, say but one good word;

What shall we do when hope is gone?"

The words lept like a leaping sword:

"Sail on! sail on! sail on! and on!'"

Then, pale and worn, he kept his deck

And peered through darkness. Ah! that night

Of all dark nights! And then a speck---

A light! A light! A light! A light!

It grew, a starlit flag unfurled!

It grew to be Time's burst of dawn.

He gained a world; he gave that world

Its grandest lesson: "On! sail on!"

-JR Miller

What should I do,

when the very stars are gone,

when there is no hope left in my heart.

Take heart.

Have faith.

Go forward.

Brave the storm.

He is faithful.

Today, Love never gives up.

True.

"There is no truth towards Jesus without truth towards man. Untruthfulness destroys fellowship, but truth cuts false fellowship to pieces and establishes genuine brotherhood. We cannot follow Christ unless we live in revealed truth before God and man" -Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

Genuine.

Authentic.

Vulnerable.

A sisterhood of transparency.

These are things that I would like to see

in my life,

in my friend group,

in my community.

And it starts with being truthful.

Today, Love does not rejoice about injustice

but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

Try.

To Do: Learn how to make Red Velvet Cake Balls and Cake Pops.

Give someone a second chance.

Forgive.

Today, Love Keeps No Record of Wrongs

In the Meantime.

"Whatever it is you're looking for in someone else

is probably what you should be working on in yourself."

....But there's so much.

Where do I start?

"You have to deal with your own hurts

Before you can help others deal with theirs."

-Jill Briscoe

Today, Love is not irritable.

Convincing.

And when my head and heart get tangled up

in wishing life were more fairy-tale like...

I remember:

I really am okay with right here, right now. Really.

I serve a God who sees, knows, and loves.

If only I could remember to keep my eyes on Him.

Today, Love does not demand it's own way.

Here.

I'm right here,

You don't have to pretend

I'm not.

Today, Love is not rude.

Before the fall.

May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified me, and I to the world...for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus.

I would rather be the prodigal son

Than the prideful older brother.

Because I know,

better than anything else,

that I am not worthy.

Today, Love is not boastful or proud.

Message.

If I had someone, I would definitely send them this for February 14.

I wish I could stop loving.

I wish it was me.

But I have to stop wishing.

Because today,

Love is not jealous.

Mirrors.

Do you ever look in the mirror?

And see...

Pride

Selfishness

Bitterness

An Unquenchable Thirst for Approval?

I do.

-----------

All I want is a life full of love.

A heart full of truth.

Loyalty, Friendship, Strength.

But it all starts with love.

Today, Love is Patient. Love is Kind.

Hello, February!

In case you didn't know...

...February is my FAVORITE.

Who couldn't love a month all about love!?

I mean, we're all called to love.

Love the Lord your God with all you heart, mind, soul, and strength,

and Love your neighbor as yourself.

And today,

Love is patient.