Speak

There are so many words.

The ones I want to say,

the ones I feel deeply within,

the ones I want to share.

And I think them, feel them.

Strongly.

But I am afraid of the out loud,

of the offering,

of the giving away,

of the secrets spoken.

They are safer within.

A long time ago I thought God was asking me to speak,

to write and touch young ears with words.

Like Moses, Jeremiah,

I doubted my own words.

Speaking, like healing and forward movement,

takes a lot of courage.

"Do not say, 'I am only a youth;
for all to whom I send you,
you shall go,
And whatever I command you,
you shall speak.
Do not be afraid of them.
For I am with you to deliver you,
declares the Lord."
Jeremiah 1:7,8

I too am a failure. 

I too have fled my calling.

I too don't believe in my own capacity to speak anymore.

I too need to return to faithfulness.