Healing.

Recently, GLB has been blogging about this amazing book that is changing her perspectives.

It's called "So Long, Insecurity" by Beth Moore.

I'm only about 1/2 way through, and already this book has been a journey, a revealing tale of my own heart and my own self. I never would have said before that I am an insecure person...but I can admit it now, I am. I've believed the lies of the world. I've let this culture steal from me. I've put too much weight on relationships that could do nothing but collapse under the pressure...and I've let insecurity dig its roots deep into my heart.

It's hard to fully explain what this book has helped me realize, because honestly, its been a journey of my heart. A journey that I don't intent to end until I find healing.

Here's my confession:: I got to chaper 9, entitled "A Time and Place to Heal," and I shut the book. I didn't open the cover for over two weeks. I was afraid. Afraid to ask for healing, afraid to face how beat up my heart really is.

But, today I went to a wedding and those insecurities rose up full force. So, instead of letting them defeat me, I drove with the book, my journal, and my Bible to the park.

Second confession: I was afraid to get out of the car once I got to the park. Seriously, how long am I going to let insecurity paralyze me? I was wearing this bright blue floor length cotton dress, and I was afraid of what people would think when they saw me get out of my car, walk to the center of the island at Heritage Park, and sit in the grass with my Bible. (There were a TON of parties at the park today, every shelter was full). But, I gathered my nerves and did it anyway. I'm determined to start uprooting insecurity in my life. Determined.

Here's my favorite part of the prayer Beth Moore asked me to pray today::

"Where I lost innocence, grant me integrity.

Where I lost a relationship, grant me true intimacy.

Where I lost a home, grant me an internal, unshakable sense of belonging.

Where I've held someone responsible for my loss, grant me the ability to forgive.

Don't stop until You've made a miracle out of me."