Sometimes I get really caught up
thinking about what others are thinking.
about me,
my relationships,
my decisions,
my dreams.
It's letting other people tell me how to think,
what to believe,
how to act.
It's letting a judgmental word ruin a perfect day.
It's letting other's standards measure who I am.
And I'm really, really tired of it.
I'm a quiet person who doesn't like crowds,
I'm a writer and a thinker,
I don't talk without contemplating my words first.
I don't share my inner self with just anyone.
I can be really insecure.
I believe in God's goodness,
I'm trying to claim his grace.
I'm sensitive to hurtful words.
I really like sterling silver rings.
I'm wounded easily.
I can't sing harmony.
I struggle to feel good enough.
I like a boy named Stuart.
I feel most alive when I'm having a one-on-one conversation.
I want to free people from the chains they let bind them.
I really like baking in the kitchen to some Amy Winehouse.
"You cannot try to please people or live your life being afraid of people. There is only One to please and to fear on this earth, and that is God.Those who seek to please God only are invincible from within."
I'm tired of being a people pleaser.
I'm tired of being afraid of you.
Your blog from today spoke directly to me...I feel like we have much in common. Like you, I don't share my inner thoughts and who I am with just anyone; that's something people must earn. I am quiet and reserved, I care maybe too much what people think of me, and get hurt easily when looks or words are not expressed in ways that make me feel unsure and insecure about who I am. Thank you for being open and honest.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the rest of your college experience...I have been out of college for four years now and there are some days I wish I could go back to the "simpler" times. Enjoy your time there now, because it goes by in a blink of an eye. :)
Get it, girl. Be bold with the knowledge that the only one you have to measure up to is the only one that counts.
ReplyDeleteYou've got this.