Beautiful Things

Sometimes I ask my clients to create a "Gratefulness Journal" 

because of the amazing effects thankfulness has

on anxiety, depression, and outlook on life.

I've personally done this in the past, 

and it's amazing all the little things 

we overlook on our roads to self-fulfillment.

As I've been making more time in my life

to write,

to pray,

to listen

I've been finding beautiful things along the way.

Sometimes it has looked like

free coffee,

home-made dinner,

my husband's open arms,

a card in the mail with cash inside,

a new client who is self-aware and motivated,

a blog post that makes me feel understood,

the opportunity to work with women again,

a chance to write my own curriculum.

If I can actually feel thankful,

instead of taking these things for granted

and focusing on the darker side of life,

I begin to feel not only thankful--

but loved, treasured, and known.

Sometimes thankfulness is easier than other times.

My clients who are just beginning the transition into sobriety,
who have lost all the things they held dear,
have a very difficult time finding one thing to call silver lining.

I still spend the time to help them find
just one.

I wrote this in my journal a few months ago,
and I think it explains this difficulty well:

I’m realizing recently that it's here, 

in this teary, let-down, weary, and even lost place, 

where my anxious heart will not cease, 

where I look in the mirror to find an imposter

where my fear overcomes love and joy 

It is here in this glassy, fragile state where I find God.

When I look 

I find God with His arms open, 

His burden light, 

His beauty exposing, 

and His love everlasting.

Thankfulness works because we have to look

 beyond ourselves, our own self-pity, in order to find it.