Strengths and weaknesses

Pain is part of my everyday life.

I ran 6 miles tonight. It was misting. It was grey. I had a side stitch and my calves cramped up.

I worked for 5 hours today. I was forced to step out of my box and engage with strangers. I had to convince myself that I could be an extrovert for 5 stretching hours.

I drove alone in my car for about an hour. Memories always come back when I'm by myself in the summer. For some reason I have this constant thought process, and it never stops. I'm always worrying, always wondering, always remembering.

My heart hurts. Each day is a fight against bitterness. Each day is a fight to believe there is a purpose in all of this. Each day is a fight to find the positive. I think that if each of us were honest, there is a place in all of our hearts that hurts. We have all lost something or someone. All of our dreams have been crushed at some point in time. But we also have this choice to live for something greater, to find joy in the suffering.

You have to face the clouds to find the silver lining, right?

So, here are my positives::

I ran 6 miles today. It wasn't hot. No one honked at me today or scared me enough to make me jump (like that motorcycle the other day). I burned around 600 calories. I could have had 2 starbucks and still been okay...But I didn't.

I worked 5 hours today, 5 hours that I wasn't scheduled to work. I learned a lot from my new manager, and I am becoming more confident each day. I enjoy working with people. They are way better than numbers.

I think my heart is finally healing. It gets a little easier each day. I'm getting stronger. Learning to love being free. Standing taller.

"Love never gives up,

Never fails,

Never loses faith,

Is always hopeful,

And endures through every circumstance"

I Cor. 13:7