More & More

This weekend a speaker said something crazily intimidating.

"If you look at your life, 

and you are not growing,

I would go so far as to say...

You're not a Christian.

Because the Christian life is miraculous and transforming."

But if I look back at my freshman year, and the complete crazy mess that I was,

I would say that I can absolutely see God forming me into someone else.

Someone more like him.

If I could put college into bullet points of change, 

I would say the things that most transformed me were the trials.

-A breakup with my "first love"

-A (lonely) semester abroad in Ireland

-Changing my major from the one thing I had wanted to do since age 12

-Having my aunt die at a time when God felt so far away.

-Making some life changing mistakes & learning true repentance.

-Going through counseling after a family crisis.

Even during those trials, though,

 I can pinpoint people who showed me God's love during those times.

Rachel--she held my hand & gave me courage during the break up.

My freshman Passion group--they invited me in last minute and heard my fears.

Erin--she got on a bus and adventured with me across Ireland to visit family.

Dr. Allen--she listened to my dreams and advised me in the right direction.

Beth & Gretch--they put me under their upperclassmen wings & invited me to Bible study.

My mom--her unconditional love was tested, but remained.

Jen--she created a safe space for me to untangle my heart.

Ange & Paige--they lived through it all with me. Side by side.

The last four years have been transformative,

and I would never go back to who I was.

Today I'm a little bit stronger for the bruises,

Wiser for the mistakes,

Better for the people He brought along the way,

& mostly humbled for the way He makes beauty out of brokenness.

"Trials teach us what we are;
they dig up the soil,
and let us see what we are made of."
-Spurgeon

My prayer will continue to be,
"Prepare me in this life, this day, for a future with you."