Remember

Breaking to Mend.

I should have breaking up down to an art by now.
I've had many "failed" relationships.

But it isn't an art.
And it isn't failure.
There's always something new to learn,
a transformation always occurs.

This time around,
I understood something powerful:
We had a successful relationship.

Whether or not you proceed to marriage or breakup is not the determinate factor of the success or failure of the relationship. Finding out whether or not this person is a suitable partner for you is. 

(Check out this article by Relevant Magazine.) 

I believe there will be someone better for us both.

Also, I realized:
Yes, there were so many wonderful things about him.
And I don't have to lose them.
Those are the things to tuck away,

to remember.

to learn from.

to become.

And, I rediscovered:
I am blessed with supportive and meaningful friendships,
Godly women
who texted me everyday for a week,
who prayed for him when I felt I couldn't,
who sat with me and cried tears because of my pain,
who called me and expressed my feelings with her own words,


I can't forget:
I have to rely on God to get through this.
He is in control.
Give me faith.

 A successful dating relationship is one that recognizes and respects the eternal importance of the other person in purity while discovering and accepting your role in that person's life. However, this ability to treat her with absolute purity and respect as a sister in Christ before, during and after the relationship can only be achieved through His power. 

This Path.

Thinking:

Its gotten me in trouble.

Sometimes I live inside my head.

Sometimes I forget to remember its connected to my heart.

This Spring Break hasn't been beaches & sunshine.

It has been decisions & heartbreak.

Saying goodbye to what I knew,

and looking loneliness in the face.

It's not exactly what I had imagined.

....

I broke up with the boy who wrote me poems,

told me daily that I was beautiful,

and always lifted my spirits

with the positive.

I interviewed for a Master's Counseling program

five minutes from my backyard.

I wore a suit. I shared my heart.

I hoped it was enough.

Now as I sit in Denver, Colorado.

Eleven hours away from home.

My heart is in my throat.

I'll keep following where He leads,

but it won't be easy not to look back.

The Game.

I'm trying to quit playing. 

I'm folding my cards.

I'm showing my hand.

Or at least I want to.

They call it a game, 

but it's really not fun.

The Comparison Game.

It steals from us.

hinders us

distracts us 

....from who we were meant to be.

It takes away from God's grace.

I'm trying to give it up.

To realize who I am in Christ.

To ask who I'm supposed to be.

And to be okay with that.

I'm a writer,

a dreamer,

a friend,

a girlfriend,
a disciple

an introvert.

And much more.

I hear Him say,

"Be the you I created you to be"

Delight.

How was your weekend?

I am so thankful for the time I was able to spend with friends,

for the surprises,

for spending time outside,

and for tears.

Saturday morning I helped plant trees along the creek!

I pretty much just watched one of the guys dig holes for us girls,

but it was still really wonderful.

(I'm going to go walk the trail soon and visit them. 

Hopefully the orange tag will protect him from big mouthed mowers.)

Bekah and I were surprised when we accidentally found our first geocache!

She picked it up thinking it was trash...
Definitely not trash.
Don't worry, we returned it to where we found it.

Then, Saturday night my housemates and I threw a shower for Angela.

It was such a sweet time of sharing and blessing Ange as she starts a new time of life.

The Yellow Loft was full of laughter

and remembering

and cupcakes

and tears.

It's times like this that remind me to slow down,

breathe,

and be present.

Because this moment is delightful.

Goodness.

At the moment...

...I'm happy to be accepted.

Accepted to Denver Seminary.

Now I feel less nervous about dreaming.

...I'm happy to be a bridesmaid.

A bridesmaid to one of the sweetest friends I've known.

Friends are precious.

...I'm happy for sunshine, spring & blooming trees.

Even for the birdie family living in my kitchen wall.

 

Goodness. It's everywhere.

You just have to be looking.

"I believe that

 I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord

in the land of the living!

Wait for the Lord;

be strong, 

and let your heart take courage;

wait for the Lord!"

Ps: 27:13,14

And Beyond.

"So...How do you plan on finishing well?" he asked.

This is my final semester of college.

I'm going to graduate.

And move on.

Transition.

When I was asked yesterday about finishing well,

my first thought was not my GPA
my first though was friendships.

I've been having a hard time 

feeling this time coming to a close.

I'm going to have to find out,

for better or worse,

who my "lifetime friends" from college will be.

I'm going to have to learn to pick up a phone 

instead of walk across the hall.

(And maybe get a better cell phone plan).

I'm going to have to watch as

fiancés become husbands

& take my best friends far away.

In light of all that,

I've decided to not let fear steal from me,

I've decided to keep loving recklessly,

to keep pursuing friendships,

to keep sharing my heart with others.

Because I don't believe any relationship 

is without it's purpose.

I want to praise God for this transition,

and bring Him glory in it.

Praise God for the things that He has done and the things that He is about to do, and the things in the future that are beyond what I could even dream . (From this amazing post)